Thursday, September 16, 2010

What makes musicians so F*n HOT?

Why is that a man can be ugly as sin, but if he sings well, strokes that guitar like a pro, slaps the bass like he means it, he hits those drums like no body’s business, suddenly, BAM, you want a piece of that. I mean, Billy Jo Armstrong is my number one and let’s face it, he’s not really gorgeous. But, God, how little that matter when he’s rocking out on stage. Is it the same for women? I’m not sure it is. Is it the music that makes us wild? You don’t see guys screaming and passing out when a woman is a great musician. Do you? Please, give me some feedback on this one.

Let’s take a look at the ugliest male musicians who woman go crazy for.

1) Mic Jagger.
2) Steven Tyler
3) Ringo Starr
4) Keith Richards
5) Gene Simmons
6) Chad Kroeger
7) Michael Jackson (Not Young MJ)
8) Kid Rock
9) Jay Z
10) David Bowie

Here are some fugly female musicians but I doubt the men go crazy for them:

1) Amy Winehouse
2) Pink
3) Fantasia (If you can call her a musician)
4) Barbara Streisand
5) Fergie (UGH)
6) Cher
7) Gwen Stefani
8) Lady Gaga

There are many more in both categories, but add to my list! Tell me about some ugly musicians that you would totally bang!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

BAD EXES, GOOD MUSIC

We all have those days where we think about our past and wonder, why did we have to go through that? Why couldn’t we just bypass all the bad ones and just meet the right person from the start? Oh sure, they all say it’s about life lessons, relationship strategies, learning how to get along with different people, but I’ve decided, that’s not it at all— it’s really for the music. Thus, I’ve compiled a list of all the bands that I am very grateful to have been exposed to by my exes. So instead of the usual fuck you, I say, thank you! Thank you exes, for without which I might never be rocking out to the following bands.


The Dork Who Somehow Managed to Break My Heart:

  • The Used. In my top 5 favorite bands ever.
  • Taking Back Sunday.

The Long Term Guy Who Can’t Commit To Wiping His Own Ass:

  • Pink Floyd.
  • Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam, in my top 5 favorite bands as well.

Summer Love That Never Happened:

  • The Foo Fighters.
  • Tenacious D. God, I Love Jack Black.

It’s Never Good To Date Your Best Friend’s Brother:

  • I don’t know if he introduced to me to any music, however, he got me into Chuck Palahniuk who is now one of my favorite authors!

Broke Up With Me On An 8 Hour Flight (in the first 30 minutes):

  • Lily Allen.


The Artist Who Could Never See Himself Loving Me:

  • Jack Johnson. Ah, Jack. Love him.


Psycho Stalker Who Doesn’t Have “No” In His Vocab:

  • Oh, he didn’t listen to music. Should have been my first clue!

Long Term #2, The Catholic who calls Buddhists Violent:

  • Dave Matthews Band.


I Was His Secret:

  • Stirred up my old love for Third Eye Blind.

The Guy Who Puts Up With Me Every Day:

  • The Kooks.
  • Coconut Records.
  • Brand New.
  • Ludo.
  • Jack’s Mannequin. Shaping up to be one of my favorites.

So next time you are wondering why the hell you had to go through all these pricks, just remember, even if it’s one song, at least you got something out of the fuckers!